Bitte um eine Korrektur meine kleinen Textes

[sFanta]

Dear Mr. Owens

we have heard about your opinion about mobile phones at school. I think its a good idea to ban mobile phones from the lesson, because when we have to concentrate in a lesson or a exam and a mobile phone bell it can be annoying and mobile phones have nothing to do in the lesson, because it distracts from the lesson. But we do not agree with you to ban mobile phones at the break, because it is our break, our freetime and we want to use our mobile phones. Maybe if someone hurt we can call the ambulance or if we forgot our school stuff we can call our parents to bring us the school stuff. Or there are students who be brought to school or be picked up from her parents and when a teacher is ill they can call her parents to say that he comes earlier from school back. I think mobile phones are not a problem at our school because we using it for to listen music, play games or take photos of us or send between us music, photos or videos because the time goes faster around and it is dosen't boring during the breaks.

I hope your agree with our opinion about banning mobile phones in the school.

Your sincerely

Das war mein Text ich bitte wie gesagt um eine kleine korrektur. Ich bin für Kritik und Meinungen offen und nehme mir sie für nächstes mal an.

Danke im vorraus

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Dear Mr Owens -- kein Punkt hinter Mr/Mrs/Ms

We have heard about your opinion on mobile phones in school. I think it is a good idea to ban mobile phones from the lessons because a ringing mobile phone can be very annoying and distracting when we have to concentrate during a lesson or an exam. and a mobile phone bell it can be annoying Also mobile phones have nothing to do in school because they tend to distract pupils (unnoetige Wiederholung des vorherigen Satzes). But we do not agree with you in rgards to banning mobile phones during breaks because it is our break, our free time and we want to use our mobile phones then. For example if someone got hurt, we'd be able to call an ambulance or if we forgot our school stuff (schlechte Wortwahl, bitte austauschen) we could call our parents to bring us the school stuff (schlechte Wortwahl, bitte austauschen). Or there are students who are dropped off at school or be picked up by their parents and if for example a teacher was ill, they could call their parents to say that they need picking up from school back earlier. I think mobile phones are not a problem in our school because we use them for listening to music, play games or take photos of ourselves or share music, photos or videos because the time goes faster around (besser: they pass the time) and they stop boredom during it is dosen't boring during the breaks.

I hope your agree with our opinion about banning mobile phones in the school.

Your sincerely,

Das war mein Text. Ich bitte, wie gesagt um eine kleine Korrektur. Ich bin für Kritik und Meinungen offen und nehme mir sie für nächstes mal an.

Danke im Vorraus