Email schreiben auf Englisch !!

[jana.ned]

Hey ! Wir sollen in Englisch eine Email schreiben, und ich wollte euch fragen was für Vorschläge und Verbesserungen ihr dazu hättet. Ich wäre euch sehr dankbar !!! Es geht um zwei Events die ich beschreiben sollte.

Hey,
The first event is the T-hall. The T-hall is a place where you can climb, but it is not a problem if you can not climb, because there are a lot of courses with professional trainers who will teach and help you. The T-hall is very big, about 1800 m2, so you have a lot of place to climb. What I like very much is that there are about 200 routes, but not only for the beginners. There are also very demanding routes for the advanced climbers. I think we will have a lot of fun there.

The second event is the Berlin Underworld Museum. It is not a normal museum, because there are guided tours through underground buildings. These tours are on different places in the city, but you can reach it easily by traffic. The tours take place in interesting buildings, so that we certainly will not be bored. But it is important, that you bring warm clothes with you because it is very cold there. Because the tours are available in different languages, we can make one in english so that you understand everything.

I hope you look forward to these events like me.

Jana

[joy]

Hey ! Wir sollen in Englisch eine Email schreiben, und ich wollte euch fragen was für Vorschläge und Verbesserungen ihr dazu hättet. Ich wäre euch sehr dankbar !!! Es geht um zwei Events die ich beschreiben sollte.

Hey ! Wir sollen in Englisch eine Email schreiben, und ich wollte euch fragen was für Vorschläge und Verbesserungen ihr dazu hättet. Ich wäre euch sehr dankbar !!! Es geht um zwei Events die ich beschreiben sollte.Hey,Dear……(Schreibst du einem Kollegen? oder einer Gruppe von Kollegen? (dann schreibe:DearJohn, oder z.B.Dear colleagues)

(Hier würde ich noch einen Einleitungssatz erwarten, der erklärt, warum du schreibst)The first eventiswill be held inthe T-hall.The T-hall is a place where you can climb, but it is not a problem if you cannot climb, because there area lot ofmanycourses with professional trainers who will teach and help you. The T-hall is very big, about 1800 m2, so you have a lot of placeplenty of roomto climb. What I like very much is that there are about 200 routes, but not only for the beginners. There are also very demanding routes for the advanced climbers. I think we will have a lot of fun there.

The second eventiswill take place inthe Berlin Underworld Museum. It is not a normal museum, because there are guided tours through underground buildings. These tours are on different places in the city, but you can reach it easily by trafficmeans of transport.The tours take place in interesting buildings, so that we certainly will not be bored. But it is important, that you bring warm clothes with you because it is very cold there. Because As the tours are available in different languages, we can makedooneheldinEnglish so that youwillunderstand everything.

I hope you look forward to these events like me.
With best regardsJana

Rot = Fehler
Grün = Vorschlag
Blau = Bemerkung

[tiorthan]

@jana.ned:
"Event" bedeutet "Ereignis", aber du hast eigentlich kein Ereignis beschrieben. Ist das beabsichtigt?

Hey,Dear……(Schreibst du einem Kollegen? oder einer Gruppe von Kollegen? (dann schreibe: Dear John, oder z.B. Dear colleagues)

The formal rules for letters don't really apply to email conversations. In my more than 10 years of professional work with English and American clients, I have hardly ever seen a personal email start with "Dear ...", certainly not any email to a colleague. Emails from our current customer (an American company that I'm sure every one of you knows) usually start with "Hi " even if I have never met nor talked to the sender (and I receive mails from people up to C-level management).
And I even had mails starting with "howdy" and yes, "hey" from some business contacts that I knew a bit better.
I do receive email starting with "Dear..." but that's usually the equivalent of a formal business letter or some "generic" email like invitations to larger events. The kind of letter that, even it bears you name, is not really addressed at you personally.

The same goes for the closing. A full "With best regards" is rare and often part a generic email signature. A personal sign-off is usually (from my experience) shorter, or tailored to the occasion. One of my contacts at our client's regularly uses "Cheers" many use "Regards" (note, not the whole thing just that one word) some use "Thanks" for everything (anything really) etc. As for this email the closing could have been "Looking forward, xyz" for example.

(Hier würde ich noch einen Einleitungssatz erwarten, der erklärt, warum du schreibst)
The first event iswill be held in the T-hall.

"T-hall" ist wahrscheinlich ein Name. Vor Namen stehen aber keine Artikel.

"hold an event" würde ich hier nicht nehmen, das suggeriert eine größere Veranstaltung. Ich glaube aber, hier ist einfach nur ein ganz normaler Besuch gemeint.