Korrektur für meinen Gastfamilien-Brief

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Tan

Korrektur für meinen Gastfamilien-Brief

Beitrag von Tan »

Hallo ihr Lieben, ich möchte ganz bald nach Irland und habe leider keinen der sich meine Gastbrief durchlesen kann. Es wäre total lieb wenn sich den jemand durchlesen kann, on der Satzbau richtig ist. Vielen dank schon einmal im vorraus. :D



Dear host family,

my name is ....... and I am 22 years old. I live since December.2012 in an apartment with a really adorable girl named ....... in ........, that’s in the north of Germany. Before I moved to ........., I lived in a small town called ........, thats about 20km from .......... There I lived with my Mum ........ and my older brother ............... She is 52 years old and a Bakery Trade seller and Christian is 25 years old and a Specialist in Food Technology. My parents were divorced in 1999. My father lives with his new wife in England. When my parents were still married, we had a dog called Rex, a German shepherd.
I love animals and I’m a nature loving person. I don’t smoke and I'm vegetarian, but I don't have a problem to cook with meat for the children.
My friends, family and my colleagues describes my as attentive, honest, caring, patient, neat, social, witty and dependable but sometimes a bit disorganized.
I have my driving license since August.2009, accident free. I don’t have my own car but 2 times a month I borrow my mother's car for distant routes, to visit friends or a bulk buying. I'm looking forward to the experience of driving on the other side of the road.
In my free time I hanging out with my friends, go to the cinema, go shopping. I do some of sports like jogging, swimming and playing volleyball. Moreover I like playing Paintball, go on the trampoline, walk in the wood or to ride my bike and inline.
At the moment I do an internship in a school for children with disability. In this class “Elementary class .....” are 8 children in the aged of 6 – 8 years und everybody have a different disability, like mental and physical disability, severe multiple disability or Down’s syndrome, three from the children are sitting in a wheelchair. We do a lot fun things, like go out, go Snoezelen, do handicrafts, working with colors, do everything to learn playfully their name, light numbers and letters. When a child just has no program, I like to sit down with him, read a book, paint or play a game. Together we make light meals like cookies or special breakfast like healthy or cereal breakfast. We eat breakfast and lunch together, after that we go to the toilet and brush their teeth and than we clean up the kitchen. Once a week we go swimming and drive to a farm where some children ride a horse. Sometimes I accompany the children to their physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, sport or culture technique where they learn reading, writing and count.
Also I work every second weekend in a home for children and young adults with disabilities. The Group I’m working in, called “Group ........”, there life 7 people in the aged from 17 – 25. All are sitting in a wheelchair and have mental and physical disability and severe multiple disabilities. In the group is a very high care needs, so the activities are limited, but when we go out, than that’s a really great time, we went to the zoo, in a near city ​​Park, go shopping, or do just a walk in the city. On Fridays we like to go in a disco especially for people with disabilities.
I have completed my schooling in 2008, after that I visit a school for domestic economy. Than I did a year a internship at a florist and then I have completed an education as a care assistant. 2012 I start the education for a Social Care Work, but in the second year I canceled it for the moment.
I like kids because they are innocent and free of problems. Do fun and creative things with them and enjoying the childhood. I do not have a lot of experience with healthy children, but I hope this will be no problem for your choice.
The main reason why I want to become an au pair is that first of all I like to be with children, that I would get to know the irish life, their culture, to see the country and the cliffs, may to see the ocean. Also I would like to improve my English.
I hope I can get you a good impression of me and my life.
I would like to thank you for welcoming me in your family and giving me the chance getting to know the Ireland life.
Thank you so much for taking time to read my letter and I am looking forward hearing from you soon!

Greetings,

Delfino

Re: Korrektur für meinen Gastfamilien-Brief

Beitrag von Delfino »

Tan hat geschrieben:Hallo ihr Lieben,
ich möchte sehr bald nach Irland und habe leider keinen der sich meine Gastbrief durchlesen kann.
Es wäre total lieb wenn sich den jemand durchlesen kann, ob der Satzbau richtig ist.
Vielen Dank schon einmal im Voraus. :D



Dear host family,

My name is ... , and I am 22 years old. Since December 2012 I live with my really adorable girl ... in an apartment in ..., that’s in the north of Germany.
Before I moved there, I lived with my mum ... and my older brother ... in a small town called ..., that's about 20km from ... .
She is 52 years old and works in sales for a local bakery, and Christian is 25 years old and a specialist in food technology.
My parents were divorced in 1999. My father lives with his new wife in England.

When my parents were still married, we had a German shepherd. This dog was called Rex. I love animals, and I enjoy nature in general.
I don’t smoke, and I'm vegetarian, but I don't have a problem to cook with meat for someone else - e.g. your children.
My friends, family and my colleagues describe me as attentive, honest, caring, patient, neat, social, witty and dependable,
although I'm a bit disorganized sometimes. I have my accident free driving license since August 2009. I don’t have my own car,
but 2 times a month I usually borrow my mother's car for distant routes, to visit friends or shopping in bulk.
I'm looking forward to gaining experience in driving on the other side of the road. :)

In my free time enjoy I hanging out with my friends, go to the cinema, and to go shopping. I do sports like jogging, swimming and playing volleyball.
Moreover, I like playing paintball, go on the trampoline, walk in the woods or to ride my bike and inline skating.

Currently, I do an internship at a school for disabled children. In my elementary class are 8 children aged between 6 – 8 years,
a
nd everyone has a different mental or physical disability, e.g. severe multiple disabilities or Down’s syndrome, three of the children use a wheelchair.
We do a lot fun things, for instance go outdoors, go snoezelen in a controlled multisensory environment (MSE), do handicrafts, working with colors, do everything to learn playfully, e.g. their name, light numbers and letters. When a child has no specific program, I like to just sit down with them to read a book,
paint or play a game. Together we make light meals like cookies or special breakfast like healthy or cereal breakfast. We eat breakfast and lunch together,
afterwards they go to the toilet and brush their teeth, and than we clean up the kitchen. Once a week we go swimming and drive to a farm
where some children do horseback riding. Sometimes I accompany the children to their physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, sport or culture technique where they learn to read, to write and to count.

Also I work every second weekend in a home for children and young adults with disabilities. The group I’m working in is called “Group ........”.
there life 7 people in the aged from 17 – 25. All are sitting in a wheelchair and have mental and physical disability and severe multiple disabilities.
In the group is a very high care needs, so the activities are limited, but when we go out, than that’s a really great time, we went to the zoo, in a near city park, go shopping, or do just a walk in the city. On Fridays we like to go to a disco especially for people with disabilities.

I have completed my basic schooling in 2008, subsequently I attended a school for home economy. Then I completed a 12-months internship at a florist
and afterwards I completed an apprenticeship as a care assistant. In 2012 I started my education in social care work, but I suspended my studies in the second year to ... (reason???)

I like kids, because they are open, honest, innocent and unaware of many worldly problems.
They have fun, do creative things and enjoy their childhood.
I do not have a lot of experience with healthy children, but I hope this will not be problem for your choice.
The main reason why I want to become an au-pair is that first of all I like to be with and care for children.
I would also like get to know the Irish life, the culture, to see the country and the cliffs, may to see the ocean.
In addition, I am looking forward to practise and improve my English skills.

I hope this letter provides you with enough to form an opinion about me and my life.
Please do not hesitate to contact me for further details and information.

I would like to thank you for considering to welcome me into your family
and thereby giving me the chance to get to know the life in Ireland.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my letter,
and I am looking forward hearing from you.

Kindest regards,

...
:watch: Do not use greetings as you did, it's wrong! You shouldn't try to translate German expressions literally.
Check the usage of English words with a collocation dictionary or online examples.

Tan

Re: Korrektur für meinen Gastfamilien-Brief

Beitrag von Tan »

thank you so much.
what is e.g? never heard before :D
there were less wrong, than i thought. lol

Delfino

Re: Korrektur für meinen Gastfamilien-Brief

Beitrag von Delfino »

e.g. = z.B.
Tan hat geschrieben:Thank you so much.
What does e.g. mean? I never heard it before. :D You should read more! :read:
There were less mistakes, than I thought.
PS: I didn't mark all my changes in colour.