schnelle Hilfe bei Bewerbung

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nallybelly

schnelle Hilfe bei Bewerbung

Beitrag von nallybelly »

Hallo liebe Englischspezialisten,

ich will meine Bewerbung für ein Doktorandenstelle in England am Freitag abschicken, bin mir aber noch unsicher, ob mein Englisch so korrekt ist.
Vielleicht erbarmt sich ja jemand und schaut kurz drüber, würde mich freuen! :)

Dear Senior Research Administrator,
as a master student at the Heinrich Heine University in Düsseldorf I acquired a throughout knowledge of scientific methods and I have applied this knowledge by assisting in the design and implementation of an internet based intervention for chronic nightmare-sufferers. Next to organizing the screening, post and follow-up measurements of our patients my responsibilities also included giving feedback to patients. Using SPSS I analyzed our data and I presented the findings at the Abnormal Psychology Symposium at the Heinrich-Heine-University in January and again in July. Looking into the creative process of developing an idea for a research project to its completion added to my desire to conduct research and to realize my own projects. My first opportunity to realize my own research project was provided during my bachelor thesis. Specifically I investigated the emotional reactions to graphic warning labels for cigarettes, risk perception and self-efficacy in relation to smoker status. During my research in this field I trained my methodological skills, for example regarding randomization and valid scale construction.
Further, during my studies I gained international experience and trained my communication skills as well as my language skills during my term abroad at the University of New Orleans. Also next to my practical skills considering research I am familiar with the literature regarding forensic psychology. Specifically in a paper for my abnormal psychology course I reviewed the literature on psychopathic traits. In regard to culture and gender I deepened my understanding of these topics in my course ‘development and culture’. In this course I wrote a paper that dealt with the question how immigration history modulates feelings of cultural identity and belonging in afghan women. Further I expanded my insight into this topic through private contacts with women that are closely controlled and supervised by family members, possibly in order to maintain familial honour and dignity. This is the reason why I strongly believe in the value and relevance of a risk assessment manual for Honour-Based Violence. To really match the needs of potential victims of Honour-Based Violence high quality research is needed, which is why I hope to get the opportunity to conduct research at the University of Central Lancashire. The University of Central Lancashire is not only considered leading in different research areas, but also has a strong focus on applied research with real world impact. Therefore I would gladly apply my personal insight, my theoretical knowledge and my practical skills in the research project on Honour-Based Violence at the University of Central Lancashire. In addition I am curious to meet the challenge to better understand a complex phenomenon that needs our attention, but only seldom has been addressed adequately.
Thank you very much for your consideration.
Yours sincerely

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: schnelle Hilfe bei Bewerbung

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

nallybelly hat geschrieben:Hallo liebe Englischspezialisten,

ich will meine Bewerbung für ein Doktorandenstelle in England am Freitag abschicken, bin mir aber noch unsicher, ob mein Englisch so korrekt ist.
Vielleicht erbarmt sich ja jemand und schaut kurz drüber, würde mich freuen! :)

Dear Senior Research Administrator,
As a master student at the Heinrich Heine University in Düsseldorf, I acquired a thorough knowledge of scientific methods and I have applied this knowledge by assisting in the design and implementation of an internet based intervention for chronic nightmare-sufferers. Apart from organizing the screening, post and follow-up measurements of our patients my responsibilities also included giving feedback to patients. Using SPSS, I analyzed the data and I presented the findings at the Abnormal Psychology Symposium at the Heinrich-Heine-University in January and again in July. Looking into the creative process of developing an idea for a research project to its completion added to my desire to conduct research and to realize my own projects. My first opportunity to realize my own research project was provided during my bachelor thesis. Specifically I investigated the emotional reactions towards graphic warning labels for cigarettes, risk perception and self-efficacy in relation to smoker status. During my research in this field I improved my methodological skills, for example in regards to randomization and valid scale construction.
Furthermore, during my studies I gained international experience and trained my communication skills as well as my language skills during my term abroad at the University of New Orleans. Also in addition to my practical skills considering research, I am also familiar with the literature regarding forensic psychology. In a paper for my abnormal psychology course I specifically reviewed the literature on psychopathic traits. In regard to culture and gender I deepened my understanding of these topics in my course ‘Development and Culture’ (title). In this course I wrote a paper on how immigration history modulates feelings of cultural identity and belonging in Afghan women. Further I expanded my insight into this topic through private contacts with women who are closely controlled and supervised by family members, possibly in order to maintain familial honour and dignity. This is the reason why I strongly believe in the value and relevance of a risk assessment manual on honour-based violence. To really match the needs of potential victims of honour-based violence, high quality research is needed, which is why I hope to get the opportunity to conduct research at the University of Central Lancashire. The University of Central Lancashire is not only considered leading in different research areas, but also has a strong focus on applied research with real world impact.[/color] Therefore I would gladly apply my personal insight, my theoretical knowledge and my practical skills in the research project on honour-based violence at the University of Central Lancashire. In addition, I am curious to meet the challenge to better understand a complex phenomenon that needs our attention, but only seldomly has been addressed adequately.
Thank you very much for your consideration.
Yours sincerely

As for the honour-based violence, why are you capitalising it? I would not capitalise it.

Very impressive letter, nallybelly, good luck with the application! :)

nallybelly

Re: schnelle Hilfe bei Bewerbung

Beitrag von nallybelly »

Dear Keswick,

I thank you very much for your fast reply and your corrections, they really helped me :)

Delfino

Re: schnelle Hilfe bei Bewerbung

Beitrag von Delfino »

Furthermore, I expanded my insight into this topic through private contacts with women...
I expanded my insight into this topic further through private contacts with women...
Therefore, I would gladly apply my insight...
I would use more space (e.g. an empty line) to separate the paragraphs and structure the text more.