Is this introduction good ?

[Kritias]

Hello everone

I'm new an I would know whether this introduction is good..

The discussion about moving out is getting more interesting. Many people, including students between 17 and 22, left home and live on their own. Most oft hem move out to get more chances in life. Is that right?

Thanks =)

[Delfino]

Hello everyone!

I'm new here, and I would like to know whether this introduction is good.

1) The discussion about moving out is getting more interesting.
2) Many people, including students between 17 and 22, left their parents' home and live on their own.
3) Most oft them move out to get more chances in life.

Is this correct English?

Thanks!

Apart from some mistakes your sentences are ok, but it is not a good introduction.

1) you start your ... (an essay? or whatever you are trying to write)
by referring to recent or previous discussions (which are not included nor properly referenced...)
that seem to have reached a turning point or are somehow more interesting now - Why? What is different now?

2) you need to specify what they leave and try to connect the content of the sentences (logic)

3) an unproven statement (no source) which is not obvious, but rather bold

How to write an introduction
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+to+write+an+introduction

[Azzurri]

3) Most of them move out to get more chances in life.

Why do you say "left their parents home"?
I'd prefer the present tense, because it always happens.

[Delfino]

@Azzuri
Yes, I agree...