Letter of Motivation Master

[ihg]

Hallo Zusammen,

ich würde mich sehr freuen, wenn ihr kurz über meinen letter of motivation schaut. Es geht um ein Master Studium in Schottland im Bereich Marketing.

Vielen Dank für eure Hilfe und beste Grüße
ihg

Dear Sir or Madam,
Letter of motivation

My main motivation for studying at the University of +++, is my intend to study in an international environment at a respectable university. I would like to gain international knowledge, in order to work at the marketing and sales department for an international company after finishing my master‘s degree.
I am applying for the Masters programme in Marketing at the University of +++ for several reasons. As I thought that it is important to study Marketing not as a stand-alone subject but combined with management and economics I decided to do my undergraduate studies at the +++, one the most renowned business schools in Germany that offered this kind of integrated marketing studies. As my will to gain more knowledge has not been satisfied yet, I decided to continue my academic career by doing a Master’s degree in Marketing. I think that +++ would the perfect University to do so as it is a well renowned University offering high academic standard. The Master’s degree from the +++ will give me best career opportunities for the future.

Another reason for my interest to study in +++, is that I always wanted to study abroad in order to get in contact with other students from foreign countries and cultures, and to face the challenge of working with them in teams. During the last years, I traveled a lot and as a consequence I got to know many people from different countries and cultural backgrounds. I think the varying viewpoints, which people from different regions have, make life and studies much more interesting, especially in business topics, which often do not have just one right opinion or answer.During my studies at the +++ I gained a deep insight into marketing, sales, corporate communication and media management, which I enhanced during my time at and ++, where I managed +++. Due to the work experience and the theoretical knowledge I will have after my master studies in the field of marketing, I feel quite confident about getting a great job in that area. During the following years I hope to gain more work experience in a fulfilling position and in an international environment.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely

[Delfino]

Letter of motivation

Dear Sir or Madam,

My main motivation for studying at the University of +++ is my intend to study in a multi-cultural environment at a well-known university.
I would like to gain international experience, in order to work at the marketing department of a global company after finishing my master‘s degree.
Why marketing & sales department?
global players can afford specialists in two departments
What is you main focus? Preparing campaigns or making the sale happen?


I am applying for the Masters programme in Marketing at the University of +++ for several reasons.
Warum hast du dich so oft "vergeblich" beworben?

As I thought that it is important to study Marketing not as a stand-alone subject
but combined with management and economics I decided to do my undergraduate studies at the +++,
one the most renowned business schools in Germany that offered this kind of integrated marketing studies.
use shorter sentences
What are you trying to say? - I thought that ... Ich dachte dass ...
(diese Forumlierung könnte implizieren, dass du jetzt anders darüber denkst ...)

As my will to gain more knowledge has not been satisfied yet, I decided to continue my academic career by doing a Master’s degree in Marketing.
I think that +++ would the perfect university to do so as it is a well renowned university offering high academic standard.
The Master’s degree from the +++ will give me best career opportunities for the future.

Another reason for my interest to study in +++, is that I always wanted to study abroad in order to get in contact with other students from foreign countries and cultures, and to face the challenge of working with them in teams.
During the last years, I travelled a lot and as a consequence I got to know many people from different countries and cultural backgrounds.
I think the varying viewpoints, which people from different regions have, make life and studies much more interesting, especially in business topics, which often do not have just one right opinion or answer.

During my studies at the +++ I gained a deep insight into marketing, sales, corporate communication and media management, which I enhanced during my time at and ++, where I managed +++.
Due to the work experience and the theoretical knowledge I will have after my master studies in the field of marketing, I feel quite confident about getting a great job in that area.
During the following years I hope to gain more work experience in a fulfilling position and in an international environment.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,
...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... university

University is only capitalised in names, titles and direct references to a particular one.

vary your phrases

and maybe you can avoid using do a little, e.g. by using proper verbs

earned my undergraduate ...

gain a Master's degree


Please post your next draft and include some German comments & translations to clarify...