Hello!
Is it possible to overview my text and correct my mistakes?
Thank you!
Good morning, altogether!
Would you believe me if I told you that in a few decades whisky and coffee will be the same?
Would you believe me if I told you that a person who is overweight will be able to lose weight without changing his or her lifestyle?
And, would you believe me that in a few years a vegetarian will be able to eat meat without eating meat?
No, you wouldn’t! Not yet.
Thanks to the great progress in nanotechnology soon all this will be possible.
You will not go to the restaurant to order your food anymore – You will go to a capsule-station to order your capsules.
Yes, right, you will go to get your chemicals! You needn’t eat any food anymore and you can even safe money by pumping up your body with additives.
Isn’t that great? Drinking beer fresh from the microwave?!
Nobody ever needs to do sports again. You can eat whatever you want. There won’t be high prices for alcoholic drinks anymore and everything you eat has the taste you want it to have.
If that is where our world is turning to…
If that is our future diet…
If that is the world our world is becoming…
Then I really ask myself, and we all should wonder did we get that far?
Then I really ask myself, do I want to live in such a world? Or rather, can I expect my children to put up with a world like this?
Do I want that? Do we want that?
Do I want to live like a, like a robot? Or like a living Laboratory?
I say: No! This is not the world I want! This is not the world we want!
Korrektur einer Rede
-
Californian78
Re: Korrektur einer Rede
Good morning, everyone!
Would you believe me if I told you that in a few decades whisky and coffee will be the same? Would you believe me if I told you that a person who is overweight will be able to lose weight without changing his or her lifestyle? And1 would you believe me that in a few years a vegetarian will be able to eat meat without eating meat?
No, you wouldn’t! Not yet.
Thanks to the great progress in nanotechnology, soon all of this will be possible. You will not go to the restaurant to order your food anymore – you will go to a capsule-station to order your capsules.
Yes, right, you will goto get your chemicals! You needn’t eat any food anymore and you can even safe save money by pumping up your body with additives.
Isn’t that great? Drinking beer fresh from the microwave? Nobody ever needs to do sports again. You can eat whatever you want. There won’t be high prices for alcoholic drinks anymore and everything you eat has the taste you want it to have.
If this is where our world is turning to…if this is our future diet…if this is the world our world is becoming…then I really must ask myself, and we should all3 wonder, did we go too far?
Then I really ask myself, do I want to live in such a world? Or rather, can I expect my children to put up with a world like this? Do I want that? Do we want that? Do I want to live like a - like a robot? Or like a living Laboratory?
I say NO!
This is not the world I want!
This is not the world we want!
Hi Jefferson,
You have excellent grammar and punctuation overall. Your sentence structure when you write English is very 'modern', so I broke up your story into paragraphs that match your sentence style. This is the structure that you would find in today's magazine, newspaper or internet articles written in English.
Please note the subscripts with explanations below:
(1) no comma necessary here
(2) in proper English, you can only use ! or ? at the end of a sentence, but never both together.
Choose one or the other! Only comic books use !? together.
(3) reversed word order here from 'all should' to 'should all'
Again, good job!
Would you believe me if I told you that in a few decades whisky and coffee will be the same? Would you believe me if I told you that a person who is overweight will be able to lose weight without changing his or her lifestyle? And1 would you believe me that in a few years a vegetarian will be able to eat meat without eating meat?
No, you wouldn’t! Not yet.
Thanks to the great progress in nanotechnology, soon all of this will be possible. You will not go to the restaurant to order your food anymore – you will go to a capsule-station to order your capsules.
Yes, right, you will go
Isn’t that great? Drinking beer fresh from the microwave? Nobody ever needs to do sports again. You can eat whatever you want. There won’t be high prices for alcoholic drinks anymore and everything you eat has the taste you want it to have.
If this is where our world is turning to…if this is our future diet…if this is the world our world is becoming…then I really must ask myself, and we should all3 wonder, did we go too far?
Then I really ask myself, do I want to live in such a world? Or rather, can I expect my children to put up with a world like this? Do I want that? Do we want that? Do I want to live like a - like a robot? Or like a living Laboratory?
I say NO!
This is not the world I want!
This is not the world we want!
Hi Jefferson,
You have excellent grammar and punctuation overall. Your sentence structure when you write English is very 'modern', so I broke up your story into paragraphs that match your sentence style. This is the structure that you would find in today's magazine, newspaper or internet articles written in English.
Please note the subscripts with explanations below:
(1) no comma necessary here
(2) in proper English, you can only use ! or ? at the end of a sentence, but never both together.
Choose one or the other! Only comic books use !? together.
(3) reversed word order here from 'all should' to 'should all'
Again, good job!