ich bin neu hier und erhoffe mir eure Hilfe... ich habe meinen Cover Letter für eine Bewerbung in den USA fertig (halbjähriges Praktikum im Marketing/Tourismus). Nun wäre es super, wenn mal eben jemand korrektur lesen könnte und den ein oder anderen Verbesserungsvorschlag machen kann. Ein paar Sachen, die mir komisch vorkommen, habe ich schon entsprechend markiert. Falls ihr Verbesserungsvorschläge habt oder merkt, dass noch was fehlt - immer her damit!
Schon mal ganz lieben Dank an alle!
Viele Grüße
RE: Application for an internship (laut einigen Quellen kommt die reference-line zwischen Anrede und Text?!)
Dear Ms. xyz,
It is with great interest and enthusiasm that I am applying for the internship that is listed through the website of the xyz if there might be a vacant position from July 2012 for six months (ab July für sechs Monate?). If there is no internship available but one from February 2013 for six months (ab Februar für sechs Monate?) please let me know.
My name is xyz and I am a German Fachhochschule (University of Applied Sciences) student of the xyz Hochschule xyz majoring in tourism economy with later (später=März 2012) focusing on marketing, destination management and health tourism.
I would most like to apply for an internship in the field of marketing and destination management. In a company such as yours I am sure I could acquire very good insight into my fields of study. This position is exactly what I am looking for and an ideal opportunity for me to use my knowledge and my educational background. For the time of the internship I will be an enrolled student. (eingeschriebener Student?)
The importance of international mobility for students is becoming more and more emphasized and I definitely want to gain practical experience by working abroad. This will not only help to improve prospects for my future professional career, but will allow me to learn more about your country and culture as well.
I have learned English for nine years in school and university so I am quite fluent in English. Additionally I learned French for six years, Latin for three years and Spanish for one year and I am of course fluent in my native language German.
My education at xyz Hochschule gave me good insights in many economic aspects like business administration and marketing, investment and financing, economics and economic law and of course also in tourism. From march 2012 (ab März 2012?) on I will focus my studies on marketing, destination management and health tourism and that reinforces (bekräftigen?) my interest in this internship as well.
For the past four summers I did social volunteer work as a camp counselor and took care of children during their vacations. These experiences were amazing and my responsibilities included organizing, planning and directing the camp and the daily activities. Furthermore I played basketball successfully so I am good in teamwork. In addition I coached a basketball team for five years.
I intend to apply for my visa documents (J1) through the German American Chamber of Commerce.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I will contact you in one week to discuss my candidacy and see if you have any questions. I really look forward to speaking with you.
Sincerely
xyz
Enclosures