Referat in Englisch - Bitte um Textkorrektur

[Kim_A]

Hallo zusammen, ich habe ein Problem...und zwar muss ich am nächsten Mittwoch
ein Referat in Englisch halten über die zunehmende Studentenzahl in Deutschland.
Mein Teil des Referates bezieht sich auf die Gründe der steigenden Studentenzahl
und welche Lösungen es gibt um die ganzen Studenten in einer Uni unterzubringen.

Ich muss sagen, ich tue mich mit dem Thema sehr schwer. Da ich nicht gut Englisch
kann und sehr unsicher mit manchen Wörtern bin. Bitte schaut Euch den Text doch
mal an... Teilweise habe ich in Deutsch dahinter geschrieben, was ich damit meine
Vielen vielen Dank im voraus!

Kim

------------------

Text:

Now, I´m going to inform you about the reasons for the problem. Why are there more students than ever before?
This growing number is a due to three points.

First, there is the elimination of the conscription call (Wehrpflicht?)
In the bar chart you can see that the number of conscripts (Wehrpflichtige?) is falling since 1980. But there are still 70.000 conscripts in 2009.
With the loss of the conscription call, these young people have to find out what they want to do after school. Most of them want to go to an university.

Second, there is the elimination of the civil service (Zivildienst?). With the loss of the conscription call, there is also the loss of the civil service. You can see on the chart, that there are about 90.000 people, how provided civil service in 2009.
Althought there are a lot of other volunteer or social work options, the most of them have the desire to study.

The last and third point is the double Abi-class G8/G9. This year – only in Bavaria – there are about 60.000 more abi-graduates than in 2010. And more than 70 % of them want to go to an university.

So, the next question is, what can an university do to handle all these students? Especially what can our university do?
We have made a look at other university and found some solutions.

The first solution is to outsource the lectures to have more space for all students. For example the university Kassel outsources their lectures already. The lectures taking place in churches or cinemas. The students can follow the lectures directly or via video link. Moreover the university rent free space in hospitals or agencys.

Another solution is to expand the university. In Paderborn they have pitched large tents on the university area. Other universities construct new rooms or they upgrade their basement or attic.

[Kim_A]

Kann mir denn keiner helfen? Bitte, ist echt wichtig für meine Note...

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Du brauchst den Text am Mittwoch und fragst schon ein paar Stunden nach dem Einstellen warum dir niemand hilft? An einem Samstag?
Ein bisschen Geduld bitte, wir haben hier auch noch ein Leben ausserhalb des Forums. Ich schaue mir deinen Text aber gerne gleich an.

EDIT: Bitte stelle den Text unformatiert ein, ich kann so leider keine farbliche Korrektur vornehmen, bzw. unter- oder durchstreichen.

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Bitte stelle den Text unformatiert ein, ich kann so leider keine farbliche Korrektur vornehmen, bzw. unter- oder durchstreichen.

[Kim_A]

Ist das so unformatiert?! Mhh...mal schauen ob es so geht mit dem makieren


Text:

Now, I´m going to inform you about the reasons for the problem. Why are there more students than ever before?
This growing number is a due to three points.

First, there is the elimination of the conscription call (Wehrpflicht?)
In the bar chart you can see that the number of conscripts (Wehrpflichtige?) is falling since 1980. But there are still 70.000 conscripts in 2009.
With the loss of the conscription call, these young people have to find out what they want to do after school. Most of them want to go to an university.

Second, there is the elimination of the civil service (Zivildienst?). With the loss of the conscription call, there is also the loss of the civil service. You can see on the chart, that there are about 90.000 people, how provided civil service in 2009.
Althought there are a lot of other volunteer or social work options, the most of them have the desire to study.

The last and third point is the double Abi-class G8/G9. This year – only in Bavaria – there are about 60.000 more abi-graduates than in 2010. And more than 70 % of them want to go to an university.

So, the next question is, what can an university do to handle all these students? Especially what can our university do?
We have made a look at other university and found some solutions.

The first solution is to outsource the lectures to have more space for all students. For example the university Kassel outsources their lectures already. The lectures taking place in churches or cinemas. The students can follow the lectures directly or via video link. Moreover the university rent free space in hospitals or agencys.

Another solution is to expand the university. In Paderborn they have pitched large tents on the university area. Other universities construct new rooms or they upgrade their basement or attic.

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Ist das so unformatiert?! Mhh...mal schauen ob es so geht mit dem makieren -- Nee aber ich hoffe es geht nun, ich hab es umformatiert.. hoffe ich.

Text:

Now, I´m going to tell you about the reasons for the problem. Why are there more students than ever before?
This growing number is down to three points.


Firstly, there is the abolishment of the conscription call (Wehrpflicht?)
In the bar chart you can see that the number of conscripts (Wehrpflichtige?) has been falling since 1980. But there were still 70,000 conscripts in 2009. With the loss of the conscription call, these young people have to decide what they want to do after school. Most of them want to go to anuniversity.


Secondly, there is the abolishment of the civil service (Zivildienst?). With the loss of the conscription call, there is also the loss of the civil service. You can see in the chart, that there are about 90,000 people, who did civil service in 2009.

Although there are a lot of other volunteer or social work options, the most of them have the desire to study. The last and third point is the double Abi class G8/G9. This year – only in Bavaria – there are about 60,000 more abi graduates than in 2010. And more than 70 % of them want to attend university. So, the next question would be, what can a university do to handle all these students? Especially what can our university do? We have had a look at other universities and found some solutions.

The first solution would be to outsource the lectures to make more space for all the students. For example the university of Kassel outsources their lectures already. The lectures take place in churches or cinemas. The students can follow the lectures directly or via video link. Moreover the university rents free space in hospitals or agencies (what kind of agencies would that be?). Another solution would be to expand the university area. In Paderborn they have pitched large tents on the university grounds. Other universities build new rooms or they upgrade their basements or attics.

1. Schaue bitte alle unterstrichenen Woerter im Woerterbuch nach. leo.org ist hier eine grosse Hilfe
2. Du springst ziemlich in den Zeiten. Die Zeiten sind hier auf Englischhilfen wunderbar detailliert erklaert und wenn du Fragen hast, dann nur zu!
3. Schau dir nochmal an wie man den Plural bildet (z.B. university - universities) .. auch das ist hier gut erklaert.

Viel Glueck mit deinem Referat!

[Kim_A]

Dickes dickes Merci!

Werde gleich mal deine Tipps berücksichtigen und mich umschauen wegen den vorhandenen Fehlern!!!

Dankeschön!!!