Comment (Bitte ganz kurz überfliegen und Grammatik checken)

[Ramos21]

Competitions are a good way to compare the skills of people. But they have also negative sides. I want to collect them and found a conclusion.

Competitions always have losers. After a competition the winner will become famous, but the other participants earn nothing. If a person loses all the time, it`s bad for his self-confidence. If people work together, they can win together and nobody will be a loser.
Competitions also trigger hostilities. A competition can be the reason for hostilities between the participants. Maybe they start to fight with unfair methods or cheat to be better than the others.
The last point is that competitions can distract people from their motives. For example an artist can forget his love for arts while he fights for the price in an art competition.

But competitions have also positive sides. For instance they can build character and produce excellence. Participants learn to stay fair before and after a competition. A friendship between the winner and the loser of a competition will be not end after the price lending.
Also we shouldn`t forget that competitions motivates people. The participants of competitions work harder to reach their targets. Very much successful people are competitive, because they motivate themselfes.
The most convincing argument is that competitions leads to innovation. Big companies have every time serious competition. So they need creativity to invent a new good selling thing. Some examples are Apple and Microsoft. In short, new technologies were never founded without competition.

My conclusion is that competitions have good and bad sides. On the one hand they motivate to work hard but on the other hand they can be the reason of hostilities between the participants. But if they stay fair competitions can motivate people and maybe will be the reason of new innovations. I think competitions are good things, if you not exaggerate.

[Tanya L]

Competitions are a good way to compare the skills of people. But they have also negative sides. I want to collect them andfound find a conclusion.

Competitions always have losers. After a competition, the winner will become famous, but the other participants earn nothing. If a person loses all the time, it`s bad for his self-confidence. If people work together, they can win together and nobody will be a loser.
Competitions also trigger hostilities. A competition can be the a reason for hostilities between the participants. Maybe they start to fight with unfair methods or cheat to be better than the others.
The last point is that competitions can distract people from their motives. For example, an artist can forget his love for arts while he fights for the price prize in an art competition.

But competitions have also positive sides. For instance, they can build character and produce excellence. Participants learn to stay fair before and after a competition. A friendship between the winner and the loser of a competition will be not end after the prize lending.
Also we shouldn`t forget that competitions motivates people. The participants of competitions work harder to reach their targets. Very much A lot of successful people are competitive, because they motivate themselves.
The most convincing argument is that competitions leads to innovation. Big companies have every serious competition all the time. So they need creativity to invent a new good well/best selling thing. Some examples are Apple and Microsoft. In short, new technologies were never founded without competition.

My conclusion is that competitions have good and bad sides. On the one hand, they motivate to work hard but on the other hand they can be the a reason of hostilities between the participants. But if they stay fair, competitions can motivate people and maybe will be the a reason of new innovations. I think competitions are good things, if you do not exaggerate.


I gave it a quick look and corrected only grammar mistakes as you requested (sorry if i missed smth). If you're interested, you may think of some other wording of the underlined phrases - they don't seem to sound quite English. And if you still interested, I might share a couple suggestions on essay writing (it is an exam essay, isn't it?)