Statement of Purpose, please take a look

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Fall_apart

Statement of Purpose, please take a look

Beitrag von Fall_apart »

Hello,

I want to apply for a master programm and have to write a Statement of Purpose for it.

I would be glad, if someone have a few minutes to look over my letter. A bare grammatical correction would be already enough, in order to have at least a letter, free of mistakes.
Dear Sir or Madam,
since September 2008 I am studying mathematics at the University of Town(großgeschrieben?) and I will graduate with a bachelor’s degree in September 2011. In addition to the major in mathematics I attended several lectures in economics.

The root of my interest in mathematics lies in my childhood, in which I already showed a great interest in calculating, numbers and logic puzzles. This affinity accompanied me through my whole school career until at the higher grades the Idea of studying mathematics arose. In order to know what I have to except I studied a few books on advanced mathematics. Albeit the high degree of abstraction was unprecedented for me, an intensive occupation with the content just strengthened the idea to studying mathematics, because these pure abstraction and logic just fascinated me and the idea became a resolution. The second choice I had to make was the choice of the university.

Due to the fact that the University of Town has an excellent reputation in mathematics and the bachelor program is offering an intensive education, I decided pretty soon in favor of the University of Town. In hindsight I do not regret it, quite the contrary: When I now compare the amount and quality of the content of my attended courses to other universities, it reveals that it was a good decision to choose Town.(Ist der letzte Satz so noch ok? Etwas merkwürdige Konstruktion finde ich(und eigentlich will ich auch nicht sagen, dass alle anderen unis schlecht sind), aber iwie fällts mir schwer, das anders auszudrücken.

In my first year I met several professors and in particularly all sort of students. Though many of them are different types of people, a great part of students has one thing in common which is a great benefit this university provides: They are very ambitious and put much effort in their studies. This is a big advantage because it constitutes a perfect atmosphere for studying. In addition to that, all professors I have met are interested in teaching as efficient and helpful as they can. This is one main reason, why I want to continue my studies at this University.

After the obligatory lecture courses in the first year, I attended further courses in analysis, topology, numerical mathematics and stochastics. According to my developing interests in stochastics and analysis I attended additional advanced courses in these fields. My interests in economics lead to my decision to write my bachelor thesis in stochastic analysis with a topic about financial mathematics. The intensive occupation with the bachelor thesis reinforced my interest in this field and allowed me to get an overview about several other interesting topics linked to this field.
I have a great support at my bachelor thesis and furthermore want to deepen my knowledge in stochastics, analysis and in a few other fields, for instance topology and numerical mathematics.

Therefore, after graduating with the bachelor’s degree I would be glad to stay at the University of Town in order to achieve a master degree in mathematics. The structure and opportunities that the master program provides concur with my idea of a good University program. There is a vast amount of lecture courses and seminars, where I can set my focus according to my interests and in addition to that I already know a lot of the professors. I know their way of teaching and it appeals to me.

Yours faithfully,

Delfino

Re: Statement of Purpose, please take a look

Beitrag von Delfino »

Maybe someone can take a look at my revised version of your second draft.
Fall_apart hat geschrieben:Dear Sir or Madam,

Since September 2008 I've been studying mathematics at the University of ...
where I will graduate with a bachelor’s degree in September 2011. In addition to
studies for my major in mathematics I attended several lectures in economics.

In my first year I met several professors and in particularly all sort of students. Though many
of them are different types of people, a great part of students has one thing in common which is
a great advantage of studying at this university. They are all very ambitious and put a lot
of
effort into their studies. This is a big benefit because it constitutes a perfect atmosphere for
learning. Additionally, all professors I have met are interested in teaching efficiently and
are as helpful as they can. When I compare the amount and quality of the content of the courses
I attended here to other universities, it underlines that it was the right decision to come
to the University of ... for my bachelor.

Some fellow students may be struggling with their decision between continuing with
postgraduate studies or not, but
this was an easy one for me. Because I've already
been thinking about it since the beginning of my studies and I had set my mind on
accomplishing a master for some time now.

There are a few reasons for this. But it's mainly my fascination with the high level of pure
abstraction and logic in combination with an absolute consistency and independence as a science.
Furthermore, there are challenging tasks offered on every level of complexity. I enjoy
the
vast amount of fields which offer many topics to choose from for further studies.
Although mathematics is completely independent from other sciences it is conversely the
basis for most of them. So I might not need to occupy myself with topics I am not interested in,
but the knowledge gained in a field may be the key to understanding in other sciences.
The fact that the University of ... has an excellent reputation in mathematics and combined
with my positive experience during my bachelor program made it an even easier decision.
So I would really like to stay at the University of ... to continue with my studies towards
a
master.

...

joy

Re: Statement of Purpose, please take a look

Beitrag von joy »

Fall_apart hat geschrieben:Hello,

I want to apply for a master programm
e and have to write a Statement of Purpose for it.

I would be glad, if someone ha
s a few minutes to look over my letter. A bare grammatical correction would be already enough, in order to have at least a letter, free of mistakes.


Dear Sir or Madam,
I am very interested in applying for .... (Einleitungssatz)
Since September 2008 I have been studying mathematics at the University of Town(großgeschrieben?) (Ich bin nicht sicher, das weiss vielleicht jemand anders.)and I will graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in September 2011. In addition to the major in mathematics I attended several lectures in economics.

The root of my interest in mathematics lies in my childhood, in which I already showed a great interest in calculating, numbers and logic puzzles. This affinity accompanied me through my whole school career until at the higher grades the Idea of studying mathematics arose. In order to know what I have to except I studied a few books on advanced mathematics. Albeit
/ Although the high degree of abstraction was unprecedented for me, an intensive occupation with the content just strengthened the idea of studying mathematics, because these pure abstraction and logic just fascinated me and the idea became a resolution. The second choice I had to make was the choice of the university.

Due to the fact that the University of Town has an excellent reputation in mathematics and the
Bachelor program / programme (BrE) is offering an intensive education, I decided pretty soon in favor / favour (BrE) of the University of Town. In hindsight I do not regret it, quite the contrary: When I now compare the amount and quality of the content of my attended courses to other universities, it reveals that it was a good decision to choose Town.(Ist der letzte Satz so noch ok?
Etwas merkwürdige Konstruktion finde ich(und eigentlich will ich auch nicht sagen, dass alle anderen Unis schlecht sind), aber iwie fällts mir schwer, das anders auszudrücken. (Oder so etwas Aehnliches: Today, when I look back on the amount and unique quality of the content of my attended courses, I realize that it was a good idea to choose Town.)

In my first year I met several professors and
in particularly (oder: in particular) all sort of students. Though many of them are different types of people, a great part of students has one thing in common which is a great benefit this university provides: They are very ambitious and put much effort in their studies. This is a big advantage because it constitutes a perfect / the ideal atmosphere for studying. In addition to that, all professors I have met are interested in teaching as efficient and helpful as they can. This is one main reason, why I want (would like ist höflicher) to continue my studies at this University.

After the obligatory lecture courses in the first year, I attended further courses in analysis, topology, numerical mathematics and stochastics. According to my developing interests in stochastics and analysis I attended additional advanced courses in these fields. My interests in economics le
d to my decision to write my Bachelor thesis in stochastic analysis with a topic about financial mathematics. The intensive occupation with the Bachelor thesis reinforced my interest in this field and allowed me to get an overview about several other interesting topics linked to this field.
I have a great support at my
Bachelor thesis and furthermore want to deepen my knowledge in stochastics, analysis and in a few other fields, for instance topology and numerical mathematics.

Therefore, after graduating with the
Bachelor’s degree I would be glad to stay at the University of Town in order to achieve a master’s degree in mathematics. The structure and opportunities that the master program (programme BrE) provides concur with my idea of a good university program (programme BrE). There is a vast amount of lecture courses and seminars, where I can set my focus according to my interests and in addition to that I already know a lot of the professors. I know their way of teaching and it appeals to me.

I hope my letter has given you enough information and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time and consideration. (Schlusssatz)

Yours faithfully,

Ich habe gerade gesehen, dass schon Delfino eine Korrektur mit vielen guten Ideen gemacht hat. Trotzdem sende ich diesen Beitrag. Dein Englisch ist ja so gut, dass du das Richtige finden wirst.

Fall_apart

Re: Statement of Purpose, please take a look

Beitrag von Fall_apart »

Einen riesen Dank euch beiden. Eure Verbesserungen sind super und helfen mir sehr weiter.

Beste Grüße,
Fall_Apart