bitte korrigieren, würde mich sehr freuen, danke

Sätze und kurze Texte, die korrigiert wurden
Kaiyako

bitte korrigieren, würde mich sehr freuen, danke

Beitrag von Kaiyako »

Hallo,

ich bin es nochmal :rolleyes:
hier sind nochmal einige Inhaltsangaben von mir.

Ich würde mich freuen wenn sie jemand für mich korrigieren könnte.

Danke im Voraus,

Kaiyako



Summary


Chapter 5: A visit to the museum



The three investigators decided to visit the museum due to their hope to find out something new about the Madonna.

In front of the museum were standing a group of mammoths and other kinds of animals.

The first thing they have seen in the museum when they arrived was a big statue of the Madonna.

There have been many more other statues of the Mother of God.

They recognized that there stood a Madonna, which was in fact stolen seven years ago.

Because they were very puzzled by this they looked at it in detail... it was a very good reproduction (by S. Manning).

Later they found an article about the theft of the Madonna. There it said that the Madonna was the only object what was stolen in this night and that this theft was a part of a series of thefts. But the article stopped in the middle with the words "the logistics dealer Roger Pen...".

Because the name was not completed written they supposed that it was perhaps the dealer Mr. Pentecost from the logistics company Jose worked for.

So they identified a connection between Jose ant the Madonna statue... with a little difference, this Madonna was not black.

After this, they were on their beat through the museum and found some more replications by S. Manning and each one replaced a stolen piece of art.

Some minutes later, Bob made a joke with Justus and Justus punched Bob's shoulder.

But Bob did not expect that, loosed his balance and held himself tight on a painting for support.

In this moment the alarm started to wail and four guards stormed in with drawn pistols.

Later Peter, Justus and Bob were led into the office of the director of the museum.

They spoke with her about the thefts but she was very angry because a false alarm is very expensive.

Before they went outside they asked her some questions about Mr. Pentecost.

She said that Roger Pen was really Mr. Pentecost and that he was also the owner of the Carino Daily Post. She recounted that he was the person how spent the money for the reproduction of the stolen objects. She told them that she recognized Jose the driver too.

But because of the false alarm the three investigators had been grounded from the museum.





Summary


chapter 9: Jose Backs out



When Justus and Peter arrived at the Headquarters they heard someone talking.

It was Bob and another man, he sounded very angrily. He said that he was waiting an hour for Bob's friends.

Bob said, that they would arrive soon and that they had only wanted to help him. The man answered, that he had not need their help and that they only got him into more trouble. He also said, that he wanted to know where the Madonna was.

In this moment Peter and Justus stormed into the trailer with metal rods in their hands. They ordered the man to drop his knife.

Bob had been enchained and so they untied him. Bob announced that the strange man was Jose Santanda.

Jose averred that he had never wanted to get help from the three investigators and he was sure that the three friends had the black Madonna.

They explained him that they had wanted to fetch the Madonna, but when they arrived at Jose's everything had already been ransacked.

Then they told him everything they had found out.

(Of course, that Pentecost had sent some guys after Jose to kill him too.)

Jose remained silent. Then he reported that he had stolen the black Madonna from Mr. Pentecost.

She had been lying at Pentecost's attic for a long time and Jose had thought that she was worthless.

He hid her under his bad, but she made him ill.

Justus asked him, if he believed that she was cursed, but he only shrugged his shoulders and went outside.




Summary


Chapter 10: A bad Mistake




Once Jose had left they went in the darkroom and looked for the pictures they had made at the festival.

On one picture there was Pentecost and a clown on it.


Because of this strange meeting with Jose, the three friends were sure that the Madonna was not nearly as worthless as Jose thought. They supposed that it was the statue, which had been stolen from the museum.

Justus wanted to broke in Pentecost's house. The others would not, because that was criminal. So Justus said that he wanted to go alone.

In the middle of the night he went in a taxi till two streets away from Pentecost's house.

Then he made his way to Pentecost's. He crept to the gate, of course it was locked.

Suddenly a car arrived, it was the Green Ford. The passengers went to Pentecost's. The gate slid open, that was a good moment for Justus to come into the garden. When he was in the garden, he noticed that a window on the ground was ajar. He pushed the window open quickly and climbed inside.

He found himself in the library and went into the next room. There was a big oak desk and another modern table with a computer and a printer on it. Both the tables were stacked high with paper, magazines and newspaper.

Justus darted to the desk and sat down, he notice the bad article from the burglary, under it was a handwritten commentary which said that the author had found out many things about the three investigators and that he had written this article for connecting them to the burglary because he hoped that would hinder them to cross their paths anymore. He signed the letter Steve Bright. (S.B. …B.S.!)

On another paper was a chemical formula. After Justus had deciphered the combination he had understood the whole case.

But in this moment he heard a unfriendly voice behind him. It said that it was enough and asked whether Justus did not think so.

Justus stopped dead and then the voice said a possible title for the newspaper: Caught in action.




Summary


Chapter 12: Unexpected Aid




Everyone at school had already known that Justus had been imprisoned. So Peter and Bob had a horribal day at school and everyone asked them something about Justus.

But in the newspaper was also written, that in the last night had been a theft in the museum. (That was soon after the green Ford had left Pentecost's ground).

Justus was not sure up to which date he wanted to go back to school.

In the morning, Justus had a visitor; it was a woman called Fernanda Gonzales.

She said, she had read in the paper that Justus had broken in at Pentecost's and that he had been looked up.

She remained him of the fact that her husband had warned him that looking for the statue would be dangerous. Then she asked what Justus had wanted to know that had made him so panicked.

Justus answered that this would not be important anymore but the senora said that they had a problem because Justus had not answered the email from Jose.

Justus struggled against the temptation to help them, but he said that he was not longer investigator because his aunt and his uncle had forbidden it.

In this moment Aunt Mathilda came outside for saying that it was time for lunch. So Justus took leave of the woman and went inside.

Before he was in the house he still noticed that Mathilda had asked senora Gonzales whether she could help her in a threatening voice. But the woman answered very friendly and after the chat Mathilda came back to Justus and said that the senora had explained many things to her and that she had understood now that Justus had helped a lot of people.

And that Justus could speak with senora Gonzales now.

Outside Justus said to the senora that he was very grateful because she had managed that with Aunt Mathilda.

After this the woman looked at some photos for recognizing someone.

On one picture she recognized a man, who was called Martin Sheffers and had worked as a nigh watchman

in the museum. On the picture he was standing next to Mr. Pentecost.

The senora told him, that he was gone into Jose's flat shortly before the break-in, and that he had visited Jose often.

Now Justus understood that it was him, how had stolen the Madonna and that the clowns were only the ones which had wracked the flat.

But the strange thing was that Martin Sheffers was one of the clowns too.




Summary


Chapter 13: La Brea




Mrs. Jones phoned Bob's family for telling Bob, that Justus wanted that Bob came to him.

Bob's mother was against every activity with Justus and wanted that Bob stayed at home.

But Bob went all the same to Justus.

After some minutes the three investigators arrived at the museum, because Justus wanted to explain them all he had found out about the Madonna.

They went to the natural tar pit, in front of the museum.

Justus explained that the Madonna had not been black when she had been on display in the museum.

After she was stolen she had been hidden in the tar pit. The thieves had taken the stolen goods into a waterproof sack and had thrown it into the pit. Then they had hidden the sack inside the little mammouth until all the excitement was over.

(The reproduction specialist, Mrs. Manning had build a replica with a secret compartment inside.)

The Madonna's black color was nothing more than tar. There probably had been a leak in the packaging in which the Madonna was wrapped.

The chemical smell in Jose's flat was tar. Jose breathed in the poisonous vapours for month and became ill.

Suddenly, after Justus had finished with his story, a voice behind him said that everything he had said was right.

It was one of the clowns. The others were standing behind him with holding pistols.

Justus spoke to them unafraid that he already known their names but they only said that Justus should fetch the package out of the animal and that he had to give it to them.

Luckily, in this moment the police arrived.


VIELEN DANKE!!!!!!

joy

Re: bitte korrigieren, würde mich sehr freuen, danke

Beitrag von joy »

Kaiyako hat geschrieben:Hallo,

ich bin es nochmal :rolleyes:
hier sind nochmal einige Inhaltsangaben von mir.

Ich würde mich freuen wenn sie jemand für mich korrigieren könnte.

Danke im Voraus,

Kaiyako


Summary


Chapter 5: A visit to the museum



The three investigators decided to visit the museum in the hope of finding out something new about the Madonna.

In front of the museum were standing A group of mammoths and other kinds of animals were standing in front of the museum when they arrived.

The first thing they saw in the museum when they arrived was a big statue of the Madonna. Besides that, many more other statues of the Mother of God were on display.
Suddenly they recognized that there stood a a Madonna who was similar to the one who had been in fact stolen seven years before.

Because they investigators were very puzzled by this they had a closer looked at the Madonna in detail.... what a really good reproduction, indeed! Made by S. Manning!
Later they found an article about the theft of the Madonna which said that only the Madonna had been the only object stolen in that night and that the theft had been a part of a series of thefts. But the article stopped in the mid-sentence with the words "the logistics dealer Roger Pen...".

Because the name was not completely written, the investigators supposed that it was perhaps the dealer Mr Pentecost from the logistics company Jose worked for.

So they discovered a connection between Jose ant the Madonna statue... with a little difference, the Madonna was not black.

After that, they were on their beat through the museum and found some more replications by S. Manning and each one replaced a stolen piece of art.

Some minutes later, Bob made a joke with Justus and Justus gave Bob a slap on the shoulder.

But Bob did not expect that, lost his balance and held himself tightly on a painting for support.

In this moment the alarm started to wail and four guards stormed in with drawn pistols.

Later Peter, Justus and Bob were led into the office of the director of the museum.
They spoke with her about the thefts but she was very angry because a false alarm is very expensive.

Before they went outside they asked her some questions about Mr Pentecost.

She said that Roger Pen was really Mr Pentecost and that he was also the owner of the Carino Daily Post. She recounted that he was the person who spent the money for the reproduction of the stolen objects. She told them that she recognized Jose the driver too.

But because of the false alarm the three investigators had been grounded??? from the museum.

----------------
Hi Kaiyako So viel auf einmal kann ich nicht machen, da leider noch andere Arbeit ruft. Somit habe ich hier nur Chapter 5.

Kaiyako

Re: bitte korrigieren, würde mich sehr freuen, danke

Beitrag von Kaiyako »

vielen dank für die Korrektur von Chapter 5,
hat mich sehrgefreut, :freu:

noch einen schönen Tag,
Kaiyako

Duckduck (Contributor)

Re: bitte korrigieren, würde mich sehr freuen, danke

Beitrag von Duckduck (Contributor) »

Kaiyako hat geschrieben: Summary

chapter 9: Jose Backs Out

When Justus and Peter arrived at the headquarters, they heard Bob talking to a man who sounded very angry. He complained that he had been waiting for Bob's friends for an hour.

Bob said, that they would arrive soon and that they had only wanted to help him. The man answered, that he had not needed/wanted/asked for their help and that they had only got him into more trouble. And he wanted to know where the Madonna was.

At this moment Peter and Justus stormed into the trailer with metal rods in their hands. They told the man to drop his knife.

Bob had been pinioned and so they untied him. Bob told them that the strange man was Jose Santanda.

Jose repeated that he was sure that the three friends had the black Madonna.

They explained to him that they had wanted to fetch the Madonna, but that everything had already been ransacked when they had arrived at his house.

Then they told him everything they had found out, including the information that Pentecost had sent some guys after Jose to have him killed.

Jose remained silent. Then he admitted that he had stolen the black Madonna from Mr. Pentecost.

She had been lying in Pentecost's attic for a long time and Jose had presumed her worthless.

He had hid her under his bed, but she had made him ill.

Justus asked him if he believed that she was cursed, but he only shrugged his shoulders and went outside.

Summary


Chapter 10: A Bad Mistake


Once Jose had left, they went into the darkroom and looked at the pictures they had taken at the festival.

On  one of them they saw Pentecost and a clown.

The three friends were convinced now that the Madonna was by no means as worthless as Jose thought. They supposed that it was the statue which had been stolen from the museum.

Justus wanted to break into Pentecost's house. The others were against this, because it was criminal. So Justus said that he wanted to go alone.

In the middle of the night he took a taxi and got out not too close to Pentecost's house. Then he made his way to Pentecost's. He crept to the gate, but of course it was locked.

Suddenly a car arrived, it was the green Ford. The passengers went to Pentecost's. The gate slid open - that was his chance to get into the garden. Once in there, he noticed an open window on the groundfloor and climbed inside.

He found himself in the library and went into the next room. There were a big oak desk and another modern table with a computer and a printer on it. On both tables were stacks of papers, magazines and newspapers.

Justus went over to the desk and found the slanderous article about the burglary and a handwritten note. On this someone claimed to have found out a lot of information about the three investigators. And there was also a description of the plan to blame the burglary on them. Thus they would hopefully not cross their paths anymore. The letter was signed Steve Bright. (S.B. …B.S.!)

On another paper there was a chemical formula. When Justus had deciphered it everything became clear.

But just then he heard an unfriendly voice behind him saying that it was enough and whether he did not think so as well.

Justus stopped dead and then the voice planned a possible title for next day's newspaper: Caught in Action.
So, jetzt ist es erstmal genug!

Grüße
Duckduck

Kaiyako

Re: bitte korrigieren, würde mich sehr freuen, danke

Beitrag von Kaiyako »

Hi joy, :)

also erstmal vielen, vielen Dank fürs Verbessern!!!!

Bei der Textstelle:
Justus was not sure up to which date he wanted[/color]? to go back to school. / Justus did not know exactly when he would be able to go back to school

hab ich noch hinzugeschrieben
Justus was allowed to go back to his home but there he was not sure up to which date he wanted to go back to school.

(Damit wurde jetzt hoffentlich klar, dass er nicht mehr im Gefängnis ist)

Bei den Stelle:

In the morning, Justus had a visitor; it was a woman called Fernanda Gonzales.
habe ich hinzugefügt:

He welcomed her in the garden.
In this moment aunt Mathilda came outside? for saying that it was time for lunch. So Justus took leave of the woman and went inside?. (Ich dache, das Gespräch finde drinnen, im Gefängnis statt)

ist jetzt hoffentlich auch klar dass sie nicht im Gefängnis sind.

Vielen Dank das du mich darauf hingewießen hast, dass das unklar formuliert war.




Und bei der Stelle:

Before he was in the house he still noticed that Mathilda had asked senora Gonzales whether she could help her in a threatening voice. (Kann man mit bedrohlicher Stimme jemandem um Hilfe bitten?)
War eigentlich gemeint, dass Mathilda die Frau fragt, ob Mathilda ihr Helfen kann.
Deshalb hab ich jetzt geschrieben:

Before he was in the house he still noticed that Mathilda had asked senora Gonzales whether Mathilda could help her in a threatening voice.


Schönen tag noch und nochmal vielen Dank!!!!!!
Kaiyako

PS: das chapter 13 braucht jetzt niemand mehr zu verbessern, da ich das Lesetagebuch morgen früh abgebe und dann die korrekturen eh zu spät sind.
Nochmal vielen vielen Dank für die ganze Hilfe! :freu: