bitte verbessern...vielen dank!

[Kaiyako]

hallo,

hier noch eine Inhaltsangabe von mir.
es würde mich sehr freuen wenn sie mir jemand verbessern würde.

mfg,
und danke im Voraus,
Kaiyako


summary
chapter 4
Justus said to Inspector Cotta that it is not true what was written in the Carino Daily Post and the Inspector told him, that this bad article is only in the Carino Daily Post and that Peter is only praised for his heroic deed in the other newspapers.
Mr- Cotta said that the neighbour of Jose had only seen the three investigators, so they told him that there had been four other guys in the flat of Jose too.
But then Justus noticed that the description of the neighbour was wrong, he descriped that Bob had glasses on, but in fact he was wearing contact lenses.
Inspector Cotta also recounted that Jose had worked for Mr. Pentecost as a driver until halt a year ago, but he was fired and that Mr. Pentecost wants to employ him again as soon as he recovers.
After they have taken leave, they went to the Carino Daily Post.
They asked the keeper for the person with the initials B.S. when they arrived.
But he was not friendly and avered that he does not know him, so the investigators have him their card, but he only said that they were rascals because of the (alleged) burglary.

[joy]

summary
chapter 4
Justus said to Inspector Cotta that it is not true what was written in the Carino Daily Post and the Inspector told him, that this bad article is only in the Carino Daily Post and that Peter is only / merely praised for his heroic deed in the other newspapers.
Mr Cotta said that the neighbour of Jose had only / just seen the three investigators who told him that there had been four other guys in the flat of Jose too.
But then Justus noticed that the neighbour's description of the investigators was wrong, he described that Bob had glasses on, but in fact he was wearing contact lenses.
Inspector Cotta also recounted that Jose had worked for Mr Pentecost as a driver until half a year ago, but he was fired and that Mr Pentecost wants to employ him again as soon as he recovers.
After they had taken leave, they went to the Carino Daily Post.
They asked the keeper for the person with the initials B.S. when they arrived.
But he was not friendly and averred that he does not know him, so the investigators left their card to him, wherupon he only said that they were rascals because of / due to the alleged burglary.

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Hi Kaiyako.

joy hat sich ja viel Mühe gemacht, Deine Zusammenfassung zu korrigieren, aber leider sind da von Deiner Seite aus eine ganze Reihe Nachbesserungen zu machen. Wir kennen den Text nicht, deshalb können wir Dir da wohl nicht weiterhelfen. Gerade in diesem Abschnitt verwendest Du ja fast nur die indirekte Rede. Und da stimmen die Zeitformen ganz oft nicht. Seltsamerweise sind einige aber auch richtig, so dass ich jetzt nicht einschätzen kann, ob Du die Regeln des backshift nun kennst oder nicht?!

Hier nochmal kurz:

Steht der Einleitungssatz der indirekten Rede in einer Zeit der Vergangenheitsgruppe (Past Tense, Past Perfect, Conditional 1 = he said/he had said/he would say), dann werden die Zeiten um eine Stufe in die Vergangenheit gesetzt (= backshift).

Present Tense -> Past Tense
Present Perfect -> Past Perfect
Past Tense -> Past Perfect
Past Perfect -> Past Perfect
will-future -> Conditional 1

Wenn Dein Roman also im Past Tense geschrieben ist, musst Du Past Perfect verwenden, OK? Bzw. die anderen Zeitformen wie oben angegeben. Geh nochmal ran und versuche, eine einheitliche Linie reinzubringen, OK?!

Grüße
Duckduck

[Kaiyako]

Hi!
Erstmal danke an joy fürs korrigieren!
Auf jeden Fall auch vielen Dank an Duckduck, fürs Hinweisen an meine backshifting Fehler und für die Regeln!
Ich hab den Text jetzt nochmal versucht zu überarbeiten, dass backshiften haben wir eigentlich schonmal gelernt, doch als ich den Text geschrieben hab, hab ich da nicht mehr drangedacht ;(
Ich hoffe jetzt ist es besser.
lg und nochmals danke,
Kaiyako
summary
chapter 4
Justus said to Inspector Cotta that it was not true what was written in the Carino Daily Post and then the Inspector told him, that this bad article was only in the Carino Daily Post and that Peter was merely praised for his heroic deed in the other newspapers.
Mr Cotta said, that the neighbour of Jose had only said that he had just seen the three investigators in his evidence.

Because of this, the investigators told Mr Cotta that there had been four other guys in the flat of Jose too.
But then Justus noticed that the neighbour's description of the investigators had been wrong, the neighbour described that Bob had glasses on, but in fact he was wearing contact lenses.
Inspector Cotta also recounted that Jose had worked for Mr Pentecost as a driver until half a year ago, but he was fired and that Mr Pentecost wanted to employ him again as soon as he recovered.
After they had taken leave, they went to the Carino Daily Post.
They asked the keeper for the person with the initials B.S. when they arrived.
But he was not friendly and averred that he does not know him, so the investigators left their card to him, wherupon he only said that they were rascals due to the alleged burglary.

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Dann wollen wir mal!
summary
chapter 4
Justus said to Inspector Cotta that the things written in the Carino Daily Post were not true. The inspector reassured him and answered that the allegations had only been printed in the Carino Daily Post, whereas Peter had been praised for his heroic deed in all the other newspapers.
Cotta made also clear thatin his evidence Jose's neighbour had simply stated to have seen the three investigators.

Because of this, the investigators told Mr Cotta that there had been four other guys in Jose's flat of Jose too.
But then Justus noticed that the neighbour's description of the investigators had been wrong. He/She had described Bob as wearing glasses, when in fact he was wearing contact lenses.
Inspector Cotta also recounted that Jose had workedas a driverfor Mr Pentecost until half a year before, but had been fired. But that now Mr Pentecost was willing to employ him again as soon as he would recover.
After they had taken leave, they went to the Carino Daily Post.When they arrived, they asked the keeper for the person with the initials B.S.
But he was not friendly and averred that he did not know him. So the investigators gave him their card. On seeing their names he only said that they were rascalsdue to the alleged burglary.

Grüße
Duckduck

[joy]

Hi Kayako und Duckduck

Das war spannend und motivierte mich das Thema "reported speech" wieder einmal genauer anzuschauen.

Habt ein schönes Wochenende!

[Kaiyako]

Großes Dankeschön an Duckduck!

Ich glaub ich hab jetzt echt nochmal ordentlich was dazugelernt!

Euch auch ein schönes Wochenende,

Kaiyako