Brief auf Englisch

[bananaboat]

Hallo!
Ich muss ein Anschreiben auf Englisch verfassen für ein FSJ in Südafrika und bin mir nicht ganz sicher in Grammatik etc! Könnte jemand Korrektur lesen? Auf den Inhalt bezogen würde ich mich natürlich auch über Kritik freuen;)
Danke im Voraus!:)


Dear Sirs and Madams,
I'm very interested in applying for the position of a volunteer in the Stellenbosch Waldorf School. I would like to become a volunteer because I like to help people and work with people. Especially I like to work with children and that is the reason why I'm interested in the Stellenbosch Waldorf School.
Besides I have already experiences in working with children because I give grinds in Math and French to children whose parents have not as enough money as they needed to pay a professional tutor. Likewise I'm going to make a work experience in a Waldorf Kindergarden in June 2011.
Furthermore I'm qualified to becoma a volunteer at Stellenbosch Waldorf School because I can play the piano,the recorder and I was also a member of a choir for three years.
I have very good English skills and as a result I can speak it fluently. I also have language skills in French and Spanish.
For further information, please feel free to contact me at anytime. I greatly appreciate your interest and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

[Delfino]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I'm hereby applying for the volunteer position at the Stellenbosch Waldorf School.
I would like to become a volunteer because I really like to help and work with people.
I especially enjoy to work with children which is the main reason for my interest in your school.

In the past I've been teaching children in Math and French when the family could not afford to pay for a professional tutor.
I am going to improve my skills even further by working in a Waldorf kindergarten starting in June 2011.

Furthermore, I can play the piano, the recorder and I was also a member of a choir for three years.
I have very good English skills which allow me to speak fluently. I also have language skills in French and Spanish.

In case you require any further information please feel free to contact me at anytime.
I greatly appreciate your interest and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully
...

fipple flute might be more easy to understand than recorder

I suggest you specifiy the level of your additional language skills.

Good luck.