Bitte um Essaykorrektur! DRINGEND!

[JaneJuice]

Liebe Forumnutzer,

unten stehend ein Essay, den ich bereits in ca. 2 Stunden einreichen muss. Mir ist bewusst, dass meine Bitte etwas sehr kurzfristig ist, doch leider ist mir meine Korrekturleserin spontan abgesprungen. Er ist etwas lang (ca. 650 Wörter), aber falls dennoch irgendwer in diesem Forum spontan Zeit/Langweilie haben sollte, hier einmal kurz drüber zu lesen, freute ich mich sehr. Ich denke, dass der Essay größtenteils ganz okay ist, aber falls euch dennoch grobe Fehler auffallen sollten, bitte korrigieren! Vielen lieben Dank im voraus! Freute mich übrigens auch über eine Teilkorrektur.

Does a generalized ‘vulnerability label’ bear the risk of disadvantaging refugee women within the asylum process?

Refugee women, often aggregatedtogether with refugee children, are commonly presented as a particular vulnerable refugee group(5). Correspondingly, in many instances, they are uniformly labelled as (passive) victims or dependents of their male counterparts (1,3). This victimization can be linked to women’s presumed lower status in society: women’s activities are primarily related to the private sphere (household, family) while men are claimed to dominate the public sphere (labour market, politics) (3). However, such a simplified dichotomy that tend to picture women as “an ahistorical [and apolitical] universal unity” (Palmary: 34) based on their rather than gender differences - which vary over time and space - does not take into account the complexity of structural, and individual factors that affect women in varying situations differently. This essay will argue that labelling all refugee women as particular vulnerable - referring to their prescribed victimhood - is an overgeneralized practice that does not only undermine their agency but also bears the risk of disadvantaging them in the asylum process.
It is widely debated that the number of female migrants has grown (GCIM, Castles and Miller, Adepoju). Authors like Castles and Miller (1998:9) for instance refer to “the feminization of migration” and particularly point to the fact that not only the number of female migrants has grown, but also “awareness of the specificity of women in contemporary migration”. With regards to refugee women, a variety of guidelines and policy documents have been published (BEISPIELE) with the attempt to guide the interpretation of gender-specific persecution which is not clearly acknowledged by the narrow refugee definition of the UN refugee convention (3).

Nevertheless, in practice, gender related claims of asylum are not always fully understood and in certain situations dismissed as “personal and common” instead of being political (Middleton, :68). Unless female asylum seekers present themselves as ‘helpless victims’ of ongoing political conflict or as “monolithic cultural others” who are oppressed by their ”uncivilised cultures”, their claims are often treated as less serious if not unfounded (ibid: 81f). However, gender related claims can in fact be and often are of political nature, although this does not fit within the conventional picture of women as apolitical victims. For instance, women who refuse to adapt to discriminative social norms and mores that restrict their choices can happen to be consequently persecuted on political grounds (3).By contrast, Bhabba (200?:231) argues that refugee women’s constructed vulnerability and victimhood may advantage them within the asylum process as they are “more likely to be given the benefit of the doubt”. While this might be true under certain circumstances, Bhabba () as well as other authors otherwise suggest, that women’s access to asylum is more complicated in comparison to that of their male counterparts. Among other factors, this may be linked to women’s often prescribed lower socioeconomic status within many societies, which makes it more difficult for them to cover high travel and other related costs before entering the asylum country (..). However, this explanation stresses again the generalized notion of the particular vulnerable refugee woman and thereby overlooks examples of women that tackle the hurdles of accessing the asylum system and securing their claims.Although it cannot be denied that women are often disadvantaged due to gendered violence as well as discriminating structural factors that restrict their opportunities, I would like to conclude that a general and uncritical victimization of refugee women does not incorporate the variety and complexity of motives that are responsible for their individual decisions to migrate. Such a generalized picture often overemphasizes cultural or personal/domestic motives on the costs of political ones and therefore bears the risk of disadvantaging them in the asylum process. At the same time, it undermines refugee women’s agency and capabilities to seek for protection and betterment.Nevertheless, refugee women are often obliged to present themselves as victims or vulnerable dependents if the asylum system relies on stereotypes and does not consider political or other gender related motives as credible.

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Hi JaneJuice und willkommen im Forum!

Ok, vielleicht guckst Du nun sowieso gar nicht mehr nach, weil Du den Essay bereits abgegeben hast und es demnach zu spät ist. Deshalb verbessere ich auch gar nichts mehr.

Aber ich möchte Deine Anfrage doch zum Anlass nehmen, Dir und auch anderen Usern noch einmal klar zu machen, dass es bei der Korrektur eines solchen Textes mit "eben mal Drüberschauen" nicht getan ist. Bitte überlegt Euch, dass wir Korrekturleser:

1. oft nicht im Thema sind, also evtl. inhaltlich nachlesen müssen,
2. den Text nicht selber schreiben können, sondern versuchen müssen, möglichst viel von Euren Ideen zu erhalten, also höchstens den Stil zu verbessern, ohne die Aussage zu verändern,
3. versuchen müssen, uns Eurem Stil wenigstens in etwa anzupassen, damit der Prüfer/Lehrer nicht sofort merkt, dass da ein Anderer am Werk war.

Und damit erhöht sich der zeitliche und auch der inhaltliche Aufwand schon mal erheblich. Deshalb tun wir es trotzdem gerne und ja auch ganz freiwillig, aber es ist sehr unrealistisch, von uns zu erwarten, jederzeit und ohne Vorwarnung mal eben ein, zwei Stunden hier mit Euren umfangreichen Notfällen zu verbringen, OK?

Natürlich gibt es immer Gründe und den Versuch ist es wert, aber seid nicht enttäuscht, wenn es dann eben auch mal nicht klappt. Und 2 Stunden vor Abgabetermin fertig zu sein ist eben einfach zu knapp!

Grüße und alles Gute
Duckduck