Bitte um Korrektur!

Sätze und kurze Texte, die korrigiert wurden
coco07

Bitte um Korrektur!

Beitrag von coco07 »

Hallo Liebes Forum!

Ich bin neu hier und brauche ganz dringend Hilfe, denn mein English ist nicht grad das beste!
Das ist leider ein ganzer Text, ich werde ihn aber hier reinschreiben müssen.. Das ganze soll in Simple Past einen Bericht für die Schule von meinem Praktikum darstellen!

I worked as IT-system-electronic in the hospital (Datenschutz). I always wanted to do as IT-system-electronics. I had to repair much computers and printers, installed drives on hard-disks and destroy damage hard disks in my job. I was allowed to had a master key for all rooms in the house because he trusted me. I was not allowed, that I alone completed tasks without asking my suspervisors. That most I could already, because i at home the whole day sitting at my pc. I was very good in the install of drives and repaired pc´s because I´m also at home. I wasn´t good at trigging thinks because I´m not very strong. For this work to be very good in english and maths because computers speaks english.
You need at least a secondary school certificate here to work. It was very interested and I want do the work later. My boss said that I had made the work very well. I also take an intership in the summer holidays again!

Ist zwar ziemlich lang, aber ich bitte euch drum denn ihr seit meine letzte chance doch noch auf eine 3zu rutschen!
Das müsste ich Donnerstag abgeben!
Danke und liebe grüße CoCo07! :)

coco07

Re: Bitte um Korrektur!

Beitrag von coco07 »

Bitte helft mir! :(

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: Bitte um Korrektur!

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Geduld ist eine Tugend, CoCo07, denn die Leute die dir hier helfen haben alles noch ein (Arbeits-)Leben ausserhalb des Forums. Wenn du eine Anfrage hast, solltest du Zeit mitbringen.
coco07 hat geschrieben:Hallo Liebes Forum!

Ich bin neu hier und brauche ganz dringend Hilfe, denn mein Englisch ist nicht grad das beste!
Das ist leider ein ganzer Text, ich werde ihn aber hier reinschreiben müssen.. Das ganze soll in Simple Past einen Bericht für die Schule von meinem Praktikum darstellen!

I worked as IT-system-electronic in the hospital (Datenschutz). I always wanted to in IT-system-electronics. I had to repair many computers and printers, and I also installed drives on hard disks and on destroyed or damaged hard disks in my job. I was allowed to carry a master key for all rooms in the house because they trusted me. I was not allowed to complete tasks on my own, without asking my suspervisors. ...


So bis hierhin. Danach merkt man eindeutig, dass du keine Lust mehr hattest. Du hast nicht einmal die Woerter im Woerterbuch nachgeschlagen. Daher bitte ich dich, dir deinen Text noch einmal anzusehen und selber zu ueberarbeiten, denn Fehler wie "thinks" anstelle von "things" sind Fluechtigkeitsfehler, die du bitte selber noch verbessern kannst. Danach schaue ich mir deinen Text gerne noch einmal an, ok? Danke!

coco07

Re: Bitte um Korrektur!

Beitrag von coco07 »

Hallo,

Danke für Deine Antwort! Ich bin nur deshalb so eilig, da ich es schon am Donnerstag abgeben muss(beim nächsten Male sag ich früher bescheid).
So, die Wörter die ich gefunden habe sind rot und natürlich auch korrigiert und bei den blauen, weiß ich nicht genau, ob das so richtig ist! Im Buch steht, dass drives Ausschaltpunkt heißt, kenn das Wort zwar selber nicht aber vielleicht hilft es ja(habe erstmal driver dafür geschrieben)!
Ich danke dir!


:
I worked as IT-system-electronic in the hospital (Datenschutz). I always wanted to in IT-system-electronics. I had to repair many computers and printers, and I also installed driver on hard disks and on destroyed or damaged hard disks . I was allowed to carry a master key for all rooms in the house because they trusted me. I was not allowed to complete tasks on my own, without asking my suspervisors. ...
That most I could already, because i at home the whole day sitting at my pc. I was very good in the install of driver and repaired computer´s because I´m also at home. I wasn´t good at take things because I´m not very strong. For this work to be very good in english and maths because computers speaks english.
I need at least a secondary school certificate here to work. It was very interested and I want do the work later. My boss said that I had made the work very well. I also take an intership in the summer holidays again!

karinne

Re: Bitte um Korrektur!

Beitrag von karinne »

coco07 hat geschrieben:
I worked as IT-system-electronicelectrician. Electric is an adjective ;) in the hospital (Datenschutz). I always wanted to work in IT-system-electronics. For my job, I had to repair many computers and printers, and I also installed drivers on hard disks (I think maybe you mean hard drive disks) and on destroyed or damaged hard disks. (Did you install drivers on destroyed or damaged disks or repair destroyed or damaged disks? Your sentence sounds like you're installing on destroyed or damaged disks.) I was allowed to carry a master key for all rooms in the house because they trusted me. I was not allowed to complete tasks on my own, without asking my suspervisors supervisors. ...
That most I could already, because i at home the whole day sitting at my pc. I was very good in the install of driver and repaired computer´s because I´m also at home. Those sentences were very confusing to me. Could you maybe just say "I was very good at installing drivers and repairing computers, because I was at home the whole day," followed by a reason that being at home helped you? I wasn´t good at take things carrying things? lifting things? because I´m not very strong. For this work to be very good To be successful in this field, one must be good at english and maths because computers speaks English. (A native English speaker would not say that computers speak English. This sentence might be better as, "because the language of computers is English.)
I need at least a secondary school certificate here to work to work here. It You should say something specific instead of simply "it." "Working with computers," perhaps? was very interestedinteresting and I want do the work later. My boss said that I had made did the work very well. I will also take an internship in the summer holidays again!
One more thing:
I was allowed to carry a master key for all rooms in the house because they trusted me. I was not allowed to complete tasks on my own without asking my suspervisors
This is grammatically correct, but it sounds awkward. (Also, you do not need to say "for all rooms," because master key means a key that unlocks all doors.) To make it less awkward, say something like: I was very trusted, so I was allowed to carry the master key to the house, although I had to ask my supervisors before completing tasks on my own."

Whew! That was a lot of suggestions. Let me know if I one of my suggestions was confusing or not well-explained. I wish you luck. This seems like a challenging topic to write about.

coco07

Re: Bitte um Korrektur!

Beitrag von coco07 »

Thank you for all you change it. Can you please like you would write it?

coco07

Re: Bitte um Korrektur!

Beitrag von coco07 »

Thema kann geschlossen werden, bekomme eh keine Hilfe mehr und muss es morgen abgeben! Ich danke allen, die mir geholfen haben grüße coco07

Keswick (Contributor)

Re: Bitte um Korrektur!

Beitrag von Keswick (Contributor) »

Wir haetten dir noch geholfen mit a) mehr Zeit und b) weiss ich nicht was du mit deinem Satz "Can you please like you would write it? " meinst (Kannst du bitte wie du es schreiben wuerdest?). Worauf beziehst du dich denn?

coco07

Re: Bitte um Korrektur!

Beitrag von coco07 »

Das war doch nicht böse gemeint ich mein damit nur dass morgen donnerstag ist und ich anfangen muss zu schreiben... Ich danke euch!

grüße coco07