A short poem... Bitte um Korrektur

[relief.06]

Für eine Korrektur oder Verbesserungsvorschläge wäre ich echt dankbar.


I don't like global warming,
people are everywhere rubish throwing,
we must save water and energy,
for the gerneration in the futurity
I don't like air pollution,
what is the solution?


Grüße Relief

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Für eine Korrektur oder Verbesserungsvorschläge wäre ich echt dankbar.


I don't like global warming,
people are everywhere rubish throwing,
we must save water and energy,
for the generations of the future
I don't like air pollution,
what is the solution?


Grüße Relief

Hi relief,

Sicherlich hat man was Gedichte und Lieder angeht eine gewisse kuenstlerische Freiheit, aber siehe 2. Satz.. man kann nicht einfach die Satzstellung sinnlos veraendern.

[relief.06]

Ja verstehe, der Satzbau ist total falsch. Ich habe einiges geändert:

I don't like global warming,
hate that it's always storming.
There is rubbish everywhere,
they wouldn't be there,
if people didn't throw them there.
We must save water and energy,
everyone has responsibility.
We want to have a green environment,
we need an arrangement.
I don't like air pollution,
but what is the solution?

[Keswick (Contributor)]

Ja verstehe, der Satzbau ist total falsch. Ich habe einiges geändert:

I don't like global warming,
hate that it's always storming.
There is rubbish everywhere,
it wouldn't be there,
if people didn't throw it there.
We must save water and energy,
everyone has responsibility.
We want to have a green environment,
we need an arrangement.
I don't like air pollution,
but what is the solution?

[relief.06]

Dankeschön