Ich brauche jemanden der kurz über meinen Dialog schaut und die gröbsten Fehler verbessert
Es muss nicht perfekt sein, aber zu mindestens annehmbar
Ich bedanke mich schon Mal recht <3- lich
A dialogue between Clay and a psychologist one week after Clay listened to Hannah's tapes
and his mother recognized that something is wrong with her son.
T: Hello Clay, it is nice to meet you.
I know that you are not happy that your mother wanted me to talk with you,
nevertheless I hope that we can become friends .
C: Ähm, Hi. I do not know about what we could speak. Everything is ok.
T: A few of weeks ago a girl at your school commits suicide, right?
C: Yes, Hannah Baker was her name.
T: Did you know her good?
C: I do not want to talk about Hannah .
T: It seems to me that you cared about her. I can see it in your face.
C: We worked together in the cinema last summer, nothing more.
T: it is not your fault that she decided to die. You know this, right?
C: No, not only my fault. But I could have . forget about it.
T: No Clay. It is ok. You need this, trust me.
After a conversation you will fell better, I promise. You talk and I listen, ok?
C: I had feelings for her, but because of these stupid rumours about her
I never find the courage to talk to her . I always thought she is too experienced for me.
I never saw how she felt, but . it was so easy to see. On this f*cking party, a party after
she decided for herself to end her life, I left her. I went out and left her in this room.
If I had stay, if I had not listen to her . Maybe she would be alive.
T: Afterwards it is easier to "see" things, which you did not see in the moment they happen.
A good friend of mine, he was a counsellor for suicide teenagers, he was good, he helped a
lot of girls and boys. His daughter hanged herself. He never thought that his little girl was suicidal.
Afterwards he started to remember some situations which he did not notice and he started to blame
himself for everything. Now he is a broken man who can not go on living. He chose the wrong way.
It is not easy to deal with a suicide, but the first step is to stop blaming yourself!
Do you want to tell me something about this party?
C: I went where because I wanted to meet Hannah and I was so happy then we finely talked.
We nearly talked about everything. Because it was too loud we searched for a quite place and
that is why we went into a bedroom. Then we start kissing, but after some minutes she hustled
me away and told me to leave the room. I listened to her ... If I ... had I ...
T: Clay, what happend in this room ?
C: I can not tell you. I ... Something really bad happened there.
This is one of the reasons she decided to commit suiside ...
T: Clay what happend to Hannah ? Do her parents know ? Was she raped ?
C: I can not tell you, really. I do not think that this gonna work.
T: Clay, wait ... If you want to we could
C: - no. I have to go now. I am sorry.Bey!
T: Goodbey Clay ...
After this Clay never talked about Hannah or the tapes again. He never could really handle it.
. Einige Vorschläge für den Stil und ein paar Fehlerlein. In diesem Fall würde ich unbedingt die contractions verwenden, weil es dann mehr wie gesprochene Sprache klingt und aussieht.