Bitte dringend verbesseren

[Hans123]

Hallo,

wir mussten in Englisch eine "Opinion" zu "Multicalturalism" (multi-cultural society) schreiben. Ich hab da mal so angefangen:

I think a multi-cultural society is a good idea to learn from other cultures. This new society would unite all different societies in each country on earth. But this can not work if people are racist or have prejudices against foreingers. Furthermore difficulties could arise when laws conflict, be they relegious laws of just customs and that are respected by some and abhored of others. However, countries with a multi-cultural society will need strong government and unambigous laws to work peacefully to enrich one anothers's culture rather than to pull down. I think also that it requires balance and strong policing so that a multculturalism country can function well for all involved.

Könnte bitte jemand das mal auf Fehler und unverständliche Textstellen untersuchen, plz. Ich brauch das ziemlich bald ^^

[Delfino]

Hallo,
wir müssen in Englisch unsere Meinung zum Thema "Multiculturalism" (multi-cultural society) aufschreiben.
Ich habe den Text so angefangen:


I think a multi-cultural society is a good idea as it can provide the foundation to learn from other cultures.
Such society could unite all people in a country with an emphasis on the ones with a foreign background.
It is a fundamental requierement that nobody is racist or has prejudices against foreigners.
Furthermore, difficulties could arise when laws conflict with religious customs and are therefore not respected by everyone.
This means a country with a multi-cultural society will also need a strong government, unambigous laws and balanced policing
to enable a peaceful enrichment of one anothers's culture (rather than pulling each other down).


Könnte mir bitte jemand diesen Text auf Fehler und unverständliche Textstellen untersuchen.
Ich brauche das Ergebnis ziemlich bald ^^

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Hallo,

Ich weiß, dass das nerven kann, aber auch Rechtschreibfehler sind Fehler, deshalb watschel ich nochmal drüber, ja?! Am Stil ändere ich nix mehr.

- requierement
- unambiguous
- to enable a peaceful enrichment of one anothers's culture -> hier ist mir der Inhalt nicht klar?, aber "one anothers's culture" sieht grauselig aus, ich würde das "s" vor dem Apostroph weglassen, denn ich weiß gar nicht, ob "one another" im Plural stehen kann??!

Grüße
Duckduck

[Delfino]

@Duckduck
Danke fuer deine Hinweise. Ich meinte dies:

... to enable a peaceful enrichment of one's culture (rather than pulling each other down).



quote from: http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=1017

The best source for questions like this is always Fowler's Modern English Usage. He says
... the impersonal one always can, and now usually does,
provide its own possessive etc. -- one's, oneself, and one; thus
One does not like to have one's word doubted; If one fell, one would hurt oneself badly.

But thirdly, in American, in older English, and in a small minority of modern British writers,
the above sentences would run
One does not like to have his word doubted; If one fell, he would hurt himself badly.

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Jo, Delfino, alles richtig, mir ging es aber um "one anothers's".

Liebe Grüße
Duckduck