business letter

[berkaay]

Hii !!

Also folgendes, am kommenden Mittwoch muss ich eine Präsentation über ein selbst gewähltes Thema halten.
Doch zuvor muss ich einen Brief an eine fiktive Person einreichen, indem halt stehen soll worüber,warum usw ich eine Präsentation halten und diese Person kommen sollte. Der Brief soll im business-englisch geschrieben sein. Vielleicht ist jemand so nett und überfliegt ihn auf Fehler oder kann mir
Verbesserungsvorschläge geben. Ich würde mich sehr freuen, wenn ich Feedback kriegen würde !! DANKE !!

Also das habe ich bisher zu papier gebracht :


Dear Mr Smith,



Presentation “Game of luck manipulation in football“

The request of my writing is that I want you to invite next week on the 26th January 2011 to my presentation
about the gambling-manipulations in football. The presentation starts at 6 pm at the University in Münster, it
would be a pleasure if you as the sportdirector of BV Borussia Dortmund visit this event.

In my presentation I will report about the current news from the court-case in Bochum (Germany),
where four defendants are on trial because of manipulating football matches.

Football is at the moment the most popular sport in the world, in every country football teams have their
loyal supporters. In the media football is also the number one in sport, we get everyday information about
every current news in football.

Meanwhile gigantic amounts of money are flowing in and out in football. The clubs are working closely
together with big concerns which are sponsoring them. They also earn lots of money with advertisement
and merchandising.

The result of this development by now is not only that a professional football player earns several million euros, football is a mighty subject for different kind of people to make money.

In that case I will show up about the shady side of that sport which is also often shown in the news last time.

The investigation of the public prosecution office in Bochum

began accidentially. During a
telephone surveillance about drug-environment, they recorded conversations about plans of football match
manipulation.

The court case around the scandal began on 6th october 2010 in Bochum.

The four defendants which are on trial should have manipulated a high number of football matches in
Germany and abroad and have done thereby severeal million euros profit.

In my presentation I want to show up how the accused acted to get on trial and I will also refer to
the developments of the court case in Bochum which is running at the moment.
There are interesting facts which I want to mention. I will notify how the German football association
reacted to the incidents

In addition announcements of the court spokesman Volker Talarowski will be part of my presentation.

The are different reasons why I choosed this topic for my presentation.
As is I said in the beginning of my writing, football ist the most popular sport. Today this sport plays an
important role in the society. One of the reasons why football is so popular is that it gives people something back in their rude everyday life.

Now these black side oft that business, the fact that players,referees or complete teams counsciously
manipulate scores of matches calls the authenthicity of football into question.

Why should people going on to watch manipulated games? This can all be effect on the financial market in football, when noone is going to the stadium or watch football on TV. There is an expanded spectrum on people and organzations which are nowadays dependant on football. So there ist the question which influences this scandal can have.

It would be grateful if you as the sportdirector oft he biggest team in the area would be one of my guests
next week.



Thank you for your attention.

[Duckduck (Contributor)]

Hi berkaay und willkommen im Forum!

Bitte nimm auch Du zur Kenntnis, dass in diesem Forum Cross Postings nicht gestattet sind!

Weil es doch immer mal wieder vorkommt, hier nochmal eine Erläuterung dazu:

Wir haben diese Einschränkung in unseren Regeln verankert, um möglichst sicherzustellen, dass die freiwilligen Helfer hier nicht lange und oft komplizierte Texte korrigieren, die in einem anderen Forum eventuell schon bearbeitet worden sind. Doppelte Arbeit macht niemand gerne, nicht? Und der User schaut unter Umständen nicht mal mehr hier vorbei, wenn er woanders bereits eine Antwort bekommen hat. Das wäre dann doppelte und zudem unnötige Arbeit für die Helfer. Verständlich, dass wir das nicht möchten, nicht wahr?!

Grüße
Duckduck